Cooking Catalog Humor

While most women flip through clothing catalogs filled with the latest styles, I get my giggles from thumbing through cooking catalogs. As I was flipping through the Spring 2009 issue of The Good Cook catalog, I noticed something about the inside cover had changed. Was it the editor’s hairdo? No. She’s had that for a while. Glasses? Don’t think so … but I never really looked that close before. Then I took a closer look at her opening message. It was written in verse … she had rewritten the words to the song “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music. Here’s what she(Beth Goehring, Editor-in-Chief) had to say (hum along ... it works):

Bubbly lasagna and hot, buttered bread,
Peppery T-bone and pimento spread,
Fresh guacamole and salsa and chips,
This is the comfort I put to my lips.

Spicy shrimp gumbo and clove-studded ham,
Buttermilk biscuits and blueberry jam,
Choc’late chip cookies and homemade ice-cream,
These are the calories of which I dream.

When it’s raining, when the kids fight, when the bills are due,
I put on my apron and open the wine and make up a big beef stew!

While that alone was worth reading, I continued to scan the pages of cookbooks. Most of them I had seen before, except for the gem on page 9 titled “The Cracker Kitchen”. I did a double take and then skimmed the description to see if it was an experiment with Ritz, Saltines and the like. No siree bob. It was “A Cookbook in Celebration of Cornbread-Fed, Down Home Family Stories and Cuisine” by Janis Owens. Alrighthy then. Moving on.

By page 19, I learned that according to the Washington Post, Corinne Trang, author of Noodles Every Day is “the Julia Child of Asian cuisine”. Good to know. I wonder what the Asian version of Julia’s vanilla pound cake tastes like? Probably not the same. A few pages later, I discovered there’s a cookbook titled “365: Dish a Day” and the authors were thorough enough to add an extra recipe for leap years.

My final bit of entertainment was towards the end of the catalog. The cookbook is titled “The Pleasure Is All Mine: Selfish Food for Modern Life”. Here’s the image of the cover. Check out the dress, stilettos and wine bottle.

This gal knows how to have a good time … by herself … as the title says.

Todd-isms

If you haven't attended a wine tasting at our shop then you've missed out on some great wines and yummy nibbles (in my humble opinion). If you haven't attended a wine tasting hosted by Todd from The Country Vintner then you've missed some great unscripted one-liners we like to call Toddisms.

Todd hosted our very first wine tasting back in November of 2007. We were featuring the wines of Catena Zapata of Argentina who produces the Alamos labels. We were on our first wine, the Alamos Viognier, which Todd described as "a melange of fruit cocktail" and compared it to "Fruity Pebbles". Once we stopped laughing, we commented that it should be illegal to use a sophisticated word like melange in the same sentence as fruit cocktail. I think we bring that up every time we see him.

His next gem came during the Old World New World tasting we did last year in which he stated "the dollar is in the crapper" as we tried to justify the pricing on some of the French wines we were tasting compared to their counterparts from around the world.

I don't remember which tasting this next classic comes from but it maybe his best so far. As he's pondering the back label of the wine bottle, he calmly announces that the wine has 14.5% alcohol which he then follows up with "a good date wine". The room gets quiet ... all eyes are focused on him ... he looks up ... he realizes what we're thinking ... and the backpedaling begins. "That's not what I meant ..." Right. What did you mean? Now at every tasting he does, we ask what the alcohol percentage is and make sure we put a star next to all the date wines.

This last Toddism comes from the Spain and Portugal tasting we did a couple weeks ago. We were tasting a fantastic Spanish red which he declared " ... was so good it was wrong". I think that too was a date wine!

And if you're wondering if there are any Lindaisms, there is just one. When asked how come my grilled sausages were so moist, I answered (without thinking obviously) that "I never poke the sausage". Really.

Torn between two …. Waiters?

To say that I have a lot of quirks is an understatement. I want certain things done a certain way … especially when it comes to food and wine. While I can control quality, timing, presentation and (to some degree) service in my own home, it is harder to do at a restaurant. I’m finding the consistency I look for in all these areas at Positano at Birkdale. I absolutely love the place. The food is delicious, the meal is never rushed, the presentation is flawless and the service is the best I’ve experienced in a while.

I’ve eaten there about 4 or 5 times in the past couple of months (rare for me who likes to try new places) and all of the times except Monday night Michael was our waiter. He served us the first time and we keep asking for him when we return. Michael is knowledgeable, patient and efficient. He knows the menu, knows what’s fresh and knows what goes with the wine we’ve selected. He’s good. He won’t rush us and will even take care of us at an inside table when his tables are outside. This plus he tolerates John’s corny jokes about Italian sea bass goes a long way.

Well Michael had the night off last night. The nerve of him – needing time off. We wanted to try the Chef’s Dinner (4 course for $20 Monday to Thursday) and had Andrea (think Bocelli) as our waiter. He’s a bit younger than Michael and a whole lot sassier … which we liked! He too had a good command of the menu and the wine list. But he scored brownie points by offering a wine that was not on the list … Poggio ai Ginepri … a awesome combination of cabernet, merlot and syrah … attractively priced at $46 a bottle (which was half off since it was Monday night … SWEET!). Also in his favor, he speaks Italian (he’s from Sicily but I would not have guessed). Of course we tried out the few Italian words and phrases we knew and he corrected our pronunciation. I think he even smirked when we started referring to John as Giovanni.

The food was delicious as usual … we opted not to go for the Chef’s Menu (mista salad, rigatoni in a cream sauce, salmon piccata and crème caramel) and tried new things on the menu. The food flowed with the conversation and Andreas anticipated every need. Another great meal. So here’s the dilemma … who should I ask for the next time I eat at Positano? Michael or Andrea? We mentioned to Andreas that we felt like cheated on Michael and was torn. His response was sassy and not entirely appropriate for a family blog like this!

If you’re interested in the Chef’s Dinner, the menu choices change every night. Call after 5:30 for what’s being served. The number is 704-896-2979 (I think I’m embarrassed that I have it memorized).